This kind of story is never good. If you’re new to living or traveling in another country you can start taking notes now and try to avoid an afternoon like mine. I’ll just dive right in.

I was in Beijing today enjoying a relaxing morning at Starbucks and then spent some time in the afternoon shopping for a few much needed winter clothing items. After this enjoyable day in the city by myself i decided it was time to go home. The process of going home is something like this:

Step 1: Walk out of the mall and flag down a taxi.
Step 2: Politely ask the driver to take me to Liu Li Qiao Dong because that’s where i need to catch a bus to get home.
Step 3: Get out of the taxi, double check to make sure i’m at the right bus stop by reading the signs and then wait for bus 917.

Oh, but wait, there are about a dozen 917 buses that all go to different places so i must be careful to pay attention to the small Chinese character next to the number so that i am sure to get on 917专 (Zhuan). I patiently wait for about 10 minutes while i see all the other 917’s go by. There are swarms of people staring at me and i must resist the temptation to put in my iPod and ignore everything. Finally, i see my bus whiz by and get back on the main road. Darn it! I missed it! Now, as the sun is starting to set i have to glare directly into it to look for the next 917 Zhuan. 15 minutes later i see it. I rush to the right place and wait for the door to open. A handful of people get off which is perfect because that means i’ll actually get a seat. I’m the first one on and i find a perfect seat in the front row. I put in my iPod to continue a book i’ve been listening to and i think to myself, “Next stop, home.”

Wrong.

We cruise for a little while making a stop here and making a stop there. A few people get on and a few people get off. This is great. I’m still happy knowing that my stop is the very last stop before the bus pulls into the station so it’s impossible to miss. After about 30 minutes of riding we stop and i notice a lot of people have decided to get off. Then the bus attendant lady tells me i have to get off too. Everyone must get off. I said to her, “What about going to Liang Xiang?” She laughed and pointed across the street. So i get off the bus without a clue as to where i am in the middle of Beijing. I literally said outloud, “Uh oh.” So as any semi-intelligent person would do, i follow the crowd. I follow the crowd until we met another massive crowd. There were so many people standing on the street that i thought surely there must be a concert going on. Nope. It was about 1,000 people or more waiting in line to get on the 917 bus. I have no idea why we rerouted, kicked everyone off, and then picked up the people waiting in line. It made absolutely no sense to me. I looked for the right line for the bus i needed, but i quickly discovered that the line literally wrapped around the block. At this point i decided that i am no longer concerned about what is economical, i flagged down a taxi and asked him if he wanted to take me to Liang Xiang. He nodded and so i hopped in. About two minutes into our hour long drive he turns around and says, “JA;LKAJDF;JKLADF?” My response was that i laid my head back on the seat and closed my eyes and thought, “This is not allowed to ruin my day.”

After giving my driver a few directions along the way i finally arrived at home about an hour later.

The moral of the story? Always have enough money in your pocket to pay for a taxi home.